Exotic Effervescence: August 2017

Never...

Never ever

ever...

say never.

Coz it can be true,

for you may say never

and never you may do.

But so true can be

that never again you do

even if you wanted to.

.....

Love,

Lipi Gupta

I am posting a short story I wrote 2 years back. My first short story on the blog. Need feedbacks.

The Darkest Hour

'5:00 Clock.'...beep..beep..beep....

The electric beeper in the clock softly beeped indicating the time. Any other night I wouldn't even have noticed. The sound of the beeper isn't enough to even stir the soft and cozy blanket of dreams.

But not today...no..not tonight. Not tonight because the dark thickened with every change in the beep of the beeper. Not scary dark, no it never scared me but just the engulfing dark which ate each and every tear that I shed. The embracing dark which hid all the turmoils that would have crossed my face...& oddly the reflecting dark..which was reflecting the love and hurt I felt. The only funny thing was that even I didn't know what was darker- the love or the hurt.

My eyes felt so puffy by now that even the dark felt powdery as if it wasn't one, it wasn't thick. As if small particles of darkness conspired and came together to kill the light...to kill the hope. The small particles conspired and came together on my life killing the light of my happiness. My bright life which emancipated the beauty of it just a few hours ago. Just a few hours ago when we held each other's hands, so firmly, so knowingly at her wedding. Our friend's wedding. When she took her vows with the one she loved, we held each other's hands. He kissed the back of my hand and said," There will be nothing in it without you". I could feel the sweet burning in my cheeks and the blood rushing to them.

Another tear appeared at the corner of the eye rolled down in the pillow making it more wet and more cold. It was a chilly night and the wet pillow felt very cold against my cheek which was so different than the warmth of his hand. With his hand on my cheek, he was gazing in my eyes deeper and deeper baring his soul in his own. I saw his full lips parted ever so slightly like he wanted to say something and suddenly he just smiled. He didn't even have to say anything. His smile was so glorious, so victorious it appeared as if it said it all. Only if it could have. Only if it would have.

There were so many tears again in my eyes. Black tears washing away my mascara disappearing into the black darkness. The pink dress I wore to the wedding was still on. Not even bothered of spoiling it I just dumped my body onto the bed and hurled in the blanket. I had my hands around my legs which were folded close to my heart all night to save all the strength left in me.

Each and every breath I was taking was so cold that my lungs felt suffocated. each breath felt like it was piercing my lungs with a shard of ice. All the air that come and went felt just like it was feeling when I was barfing the sweet and spongy cake down my throat with the ice-cold champagne. What could have I done? I was the best friend of the bride. The whole day of running around- with her jewelry and mine, her dress and mine, calling the makeup girl, packing the honeymoon suitcase, arranging the speech. God! even holding her dress while she peed- I forgot to put even a slice in my mouth. At the end of the night, even barfing cold steel knives felt like a good option.

I coldly snorted as I remembered how I felt hungry enough to eat steel blades and now feel like plunging them into my body.

My barfing would have gone on if he wouldn't have come and asked," What are you doing?"

"You wanna see me alive, right?"

"At least have the decency of pushing that down your throat with something subtle like water or orange juice. We'll run out of champagne this way." He said fun-heartedly.

"I am cold."

"Here take my coat." He wore me his coat as the photographer felt his moment came to take a click. He held my hand, placed his chin on my shoulder and smiled. So did I. The beautiful moment was captured in the 8 inches by 5 inches camera to haunt me forever.

"I'll bring you some ice-less orange juice." He winked and continued," Easy on the champagne."

"It's just my first glass. But orange juice does sound good." He went to bring me a glass and I rolled back his coat sleeves to dig in again. Feeling cold I let my right hand made the sacrifice for the empty growling stomach while slid the left hand into the pocket. I felt something sharp-edged hard paper and pulled it out.

The sharp-edged hard paper that I thought was trying to slice my hand is now slicing my happiness, my feelings, and my emotions and I don't know how to undo it.

The picture that I took out was him with a girl. His hands around her waist, his chin in her hair. She was a foot shorter than him. She wore a blue camisole top and looked happy and contended with him.

He came back with the orange juice and food, looked into my eyes, confused. I showed him the picture, threw it in his face and ran off.

The past three and a half months with him were like a dream. And he cheated on me. It was like my love was crisscrossed with his lie and everything around felt graying and crumbling with the poison he induced.

The time kept on passing and the beeper-beeping. Life was going on. It just didn't feel like it was.

'Ting...Ti..ng' The doorbell rang. It could be him. I had to be strong and I had to be brave. I had to ask him 'why?"

I opened the door to my house.

"My parents are sleeping."

"You are not taking my call."

I checked my phone. It was on silent. It read 52 missed calls.

"It's on silent."

"You have got to let me explain."

"You broke my heart. You cheated on me and you lied to me. Now you want to explain. Well, go ahead. Do that too."

"She was just a friend-my best friend. She is not what you think. She was just a friend. We were really very close."

"You were not recovering of her when we met? You said you never wanna talk about it."

"Yes. But she was never my girlfriend. I told you she was my best friend."

"The picture doesn't say so. Why was it in your pocket today, anyway?"

"She was my friend. She died four months ago. Just ten hours after this picture was taken. I had this coat on that night too. it was a party. While going back home she crashed and died after

ten hours."

"You shouldn't have worn this coat then."

"She laid hands on it. It has her friendship, her love, and blessings. And to be true, I did love her. Just not the way I love you."

I looked in his eyes.

"You'd be cold." He took off his coat again and wore me, second-time that day.

I looked at him.

" I did this then and I did it now. What I wanted was to you to put your right hand in the right pocket."

I stared at him and he encouragingly nodded. Personally, I was not sure of the next surprise I might get but pushed my hand in the right pocket. Not too deep I found a small box. I took it out and opened it. There rested a beautiful ring with a jade mounted on top and one small diamond each side. I looked at him.

"I know you love jade. I know you love me and you make me.sooo..happy. You are my best friend now and you are the most beautiful thing happened to me. You are my love and I want to make you my life. Marry me please."

I looked into those eyes..those eyes were filled with tears. those eyes were reflecting the first rays of the sun coming through the window behind my back.

I ran the steps between us and hugged him...hugged him tight. Once again my eyes were full of tears. They were black again. I guess that I depended on the darkness too much. The darkness felt too reassuring and embracing. But now the sunlight was here with him. It was the light that was dusting the powdery darkness away showing me the life that's gonna be...A life that meant him and me.

Love,
Lipi Gupta

Copyright Lipi Gupta 8/24/2017, 6:30 PM IST

For more, visit: http://tantrumfits.com/the-darkest-hour/

राखी की कीमत

"सुनो", श्रीमतीजी ने फ़रमाया,
"तुम्हारी बहन का whatsapp पे पैगाम है आया".
बीवी की बात पे श्रीमानजी ने मुँह बिचकाया,
बोले," क्या जो परसों बोला था, वही है दोहराया?"
श्रीमतीजी की पढ़ते-पढ़ते त्योरियां यूँ चढ़ गयी.
फिर श्रीमतीजी पीछे सोफे पे धम्म से पड़ गयी.
बोली," बहन जो तुम्हारी है, बातें क्या दोहराएगी.
लिखा है दो-तीन दिन में डाक से चिट्ठी आएगी.
कल वकील से बात करी है, बोला case तुम्हे जिता दूंगा.
बाहर ही फैसला जो करलो, तो दो गज कम में ही निबटा दूंगा".
सुन कर पैगाम बहन का श्रीमानजी चकरा गए.
सोफे पर बैठते-बैठते भी सर दो चक्कर खा गए.

वहीँ बहन अपने घर मंद-मंद मुस्कुरा रही थी.
अपने whatsapp message को देख कर इतरा रही थी.
"हुँह. भाई को बात मेरी अब समझ आएगी.
माँ को गए दो महीने हुए, अब बहन वहां नहीं आएगी.
सीधे-साधे से घर में हिस्सा जो दिया होता.
मैं कोई इतनी बुरी नहीं,वकील नहीं किया होता".
बहन के पति भी बहुत खुश थे, सांस की कोठी बहुत बड़ी है.
अपने खुद के घर से उसमें बस एक बालकनी की कमी है.
बोले," तुम अड़ी रहना, आधा हिस्सा ले लेंगे.
भाई तुम्हारा बड़ा अमीर है, हम अपना हिस्सा पा लेंगे".
माँ को गए दो महीने हुए, शोक-वोक अब ख़त्म हो.
पैसों की लेन-देन होकर, बात भी अब दफ़्न हो".

क्यों भाई-बहन के प्यारे रिश्ते को property खा गयी.
रेशम की डोर के रिश्ते में ये दरार कहाँ से आ गयी.
सदियों से जिस बहन को पराया धन कह नकार दिया.
अठ्ठारह की भी हुई नहीं और शादी कर घर से निकाल दिया.
बहन के मन में लालच और छोड़े जाने का गम है.
भाई के मन की कहानी भी क्या कोई कम है.
माँ-बाप ने बचपन से 'बहन पराई है' का ज्ञान दिया.
पढ़ते-लिखते बच्चों को खुद ही अज्ञान किया.
बचपन से जो प्रेमभाव की सीख सिखाई होती.
आज बड़े होने पे रिश्ते में ये दरार ना आयी होती.
राखी की कीमत से ज़्यादा जब पैसों का मोल सिखाये.
बोया पेड़ बबूल का तो आम कहाँ से खाये.

A relationship is like a tree. Fed with equality, love and care, it gives you very sweet fruits to reap. People need that care and presence of life.

Everybody needs that extra money. What stops them from destroying the relationship for that....is the love. Make the love bonds stronger. The relationship will bloom itself. There is no definition who should get a bigger share of the property. Whoever needs it more...should. Be it the brother or the sister. We forget the importance of love in the materialistic happiness.

So people, build those love bonds. Create equality within your relationship. Do not pity but care for each other. Life is way more important than the menial materialistic one that we make.

Love,
Lipi Gupta

For more, visit: http://tantrumfits.com/%E0%A4%B0%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%96%E0%A5%80-%E0%A4%95%E0%A5%80-%E0%A4%95%E0%A5%80%E0%A4%AE%E0%A4%A4/

Happy Independence Day....- Shama Hai Jali

Most of us have started forgetting the meaning of Independence Day and the efforts behind it. Some of us are too busy earning a life and others just got over it.

Today we sit on comfy couches, sipping coffee, blaming the government and the system for the corruption. Tomorrow we purposefully drive fast, purposefully jump a red-light and bribe a policeman.

In the 'busy' lives of ours, with all the resources, comforts and gadgets, we have forgotten the true celebration of our freedom. The tricolor kites and the patriotic songs that used to, hand in hand, swoosh our day have been replaced with games on mobiles, statuses on social media and selfies with flags.

Prior to this Independence Day, I got the privilege of spending 20 days with the amazing students of East Delhi Municipal Corporation Primary School, Karkardooma-I. When we think of government schools we think of brick clad classrooms, students with abusive languages from less privileged houses, lack of discipline, poverty and other parameters we allow ourselves to judge them on.

However, I instead found some amazingly talented kids who were eager to bond with a newbie teacher who wasn't even the part of the school.

Instead of finding a lack-of-resources-impacted kids, I got an eager to please, resourceful girl with developed sense of leadership. Some students with heightened skills and amazing grasping power. A prankster who found laughs with others in simple jokes. Some very hardworking girls and some very enthusiastic ones. Some very adaptable ones and many who were at heels to fight with anybody who said anything against their newbie teacher. And all of them devotedly prepared for the independence day program in true spirits and passion.

Where is the 'jazbaa' (passion) that brought us our independence? Is it still there in us lying in the dusty avenues behind the glorified ones of our personal ambitions? Can we still light that flame within us? Yes we can.

Instead of blaming our nation lets start devoting 20% of our personal ambitions(and time) to our country. There are so many ways to do that. We can:

provide resources to such schools(whatever we can afford).
devote time in teaching under-privileged and needies.
feed others(whatever we can afford)
give time to people in old age homes.
may be adopt a kid.
teach whatever vocational skills to people.
help the needies monetarily(whatever and if we can afford).
distribute toothbrushes, sanitary napkins and other hygiene related items.
donate your old clothes to needy people instead of exchanging them for goods.
NOT pay to beggars.
provide medical devices or medicines to hospitals.
raise voice if we see someone doing wrong to other(especially for the ones who cant do it for themselves).

Take your pick.(Even suggest me more).

But implement it in your life. The true sense of independence is in the development of the whole nation on all the fronts. Lets hold each others' hands and move forward....all together.

The true solace is in the passion towards our own land because she too is our mother, she too feeds us and she too is bringing us up. True as the #ShamaHaiJali song says:

ज़मीन जुनून हो, यही सुकून हो.

Lets light that flame and bring that passion again. It is the first step towards our own solace and an important step towards true freedom.

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY
Love,
Lipi Gupta

PS: very important:

Thank you for the insights to the amazing students and Principal and staff of EastDelhi Municipal Corporation Primary School, Karkardooma-I.
Thank you #sanam for the amazing song.
No copyrights on song or video.
Copyright Lipi Gupta 8/15/2017, 9:11 AM IST

For more, visit: http://tantrumfits.com/happy-independence-day-shama-hai-jali/

डर लगता है...

पंख तो है पर उन्हें पसार कर,
उड़ने से डर लगता है .
यूँ तो ज़िन्दगी रुकी नहीं पर,
आगे बढ़ने से डर लगता है.

राहें है, है मंज़िल भी नज़र में,
है अपनी हर कोशिश भी असर में.
हिम्मत है पहाड़ नापने की पर,
चढ़ने से डर लगता है.

ऊंची-नीची लहरें अपनी कोई साथी नहीं.
पर ऐसी कोई लहर नहीं, जो आके जाती नहीं.
मछलियों से नाता है पर,
तरने से डर लगता है.

उलटी-पुल्टी पथरीली सी ज़िन्दगी की डगर है,
दोस्तों का साया भी है, दुश्मनो का भी कहर है.
दिल संग हिम्मत का हथियार है पर,
लड़ने से डर लगता है.

उड़ते है हम फिर भी और हर पहाड़ चढ़ते है,
तैरते है हर दरिया में, हर सीमा पे लड़ते है.

आगे बढ़ते जाते है क्यूंकि
डरने से डर लगता है.
रुकते नहीं कभी कि डर से
हार जाने से डर लगता है.

Fear the things that are yet to come, admit your fear and when you are ready...face your fears.
Just don't give in to them.

Love,
Lipi Gupta

Copyright Lipi Gupta 8/11/2017, 8:07 PM IST

For more, visit: http://tantrumfits.com/%E0%A4%A1%E0%A4%B0-%E0%A4%B2%E0%A4%97%E0%A4%A4%E0%A4%BE-%E0%A4%B9%E0%A5%88/

Happy Birthday...

There comes an age after which people start dreading the addition of the candle on their birthday cake. And heaven forbid if you haven't met the Societal-Age-Number-Deadlines that have been created.

22 Candles.....Graduation
24 Candles.....Post Graduation
25 Candles......Job Secured
26 Candles.....Promotion and/or Marriage

People keep working on their deadlines and generally before you hit 27 candles(or 28 sometimes) the 'aarti ka deepak' on your wedding ceremonies is lit.

If not, then boss, you are in for big.

What we, sometimes, forget between adding candles is that the number of candles on your cake is just that- a number. What is more interesting is the thing below the candles. The Cake. The sweetness of life. The life itself.

So take a minute, before stamping those age numbers onto the life, to dream what actually can be the year ahead. Stop dreading for what you could or couldn't do. Instead-

Light magic candles and blow them (well keep on trying anyway), dance and fall down, laugh till your belly aches, redo what you regret not doing (oh yes you have them), take lots of selfies and fill that memory lane with new memories....plant less candles on your cake but more flavors to it....fill life in each day....

Because guys (true what #SRK said "Kal Ho Naa Ho", but) I say "Agar Aaj Hai.....to Aaj Hi Sabse Achchha Hai".

Love,
Lipi Gupta

For more, visit: http://tantrumfits.com/happy-birthday/

Friction...

Most of us come across this word very often.....Friction.

Friction is the force opposite to the force that we apply to move forward.

(This might feel like a physics lesson.....But go on.)

There are majorly three types of friction:

Static Friction
Limiting Friction
Kinetic Friction

Static Friction......when we stand at a point in our life, the backward force that we face is the static friction. All those memories from the past, those souvenirs that we collect, all those people around us who have pity in their eyes( and some also say "I told you so") are part of that friction. They tell you that they want you to forget about it, but become the reminders after all.

Limiting Friction.......slowly when the memories fade and the people get another juicier topics and you get fed up of the tilted heads of sympathy aimed towards you, you decide to go ahead. This is the moment where the friction is just equal and opposite to your forward force. The souvenirs have lost their charm. The pictures have taken backseat in the album. Sometime you hit the limiting friction and loose your efforts, sometime you race to it and go back to your static stage and sometime you try again and again but loose your hopes at the boundary. But this is the threshold which is crossed by just a pint of more effort.
As soon as you cross that threshold, you are liberated. This is called moving on. You move on the static phase that your past brought you in and you keep moving then. Your life once again finds your lost motion.

Kinetic Friction.....this is the small friction you face, while you move, opposite to your direction. These are again those memories, the pictures and the souvenirs. But they will just become the small resistance in your life now, as long as you keep accelerating.

So keep accelerating your life and do not let the limiting friction limit you in a place for very long. Keep feeding yourself the fuel you require because...Life...needs pace.

Love,
Lipi Gupta

For more, visit: http://tantrumfits.com/friction-2/

Exotic Effervescence

Blog Menu

Never...

The Darkest Hour

राखी की कीमत

Happy Independence Day....- Shama Hai Jali

डर लगता है...

Happy Birthday...

Friction...

Report Abuse

Something..